Origin Story

The year is 2007. Your two friends join a talent agency and you also get signed. But you need photos. Don’t worry. You have no idea what you’re doing, or why anyone would book you based on a photo with eye black on your face. But you trust the process, and in one year you make enough at that agency to break even from having photos taken. The gig was working a Marlboro booth at a nascar event.

Your first friend will move across the country and become a successful actress that you are proud to know and love. The other friend, who you once got up at 5am with to drive to Columbus to audition for The Real World, moves to Africa. You will change your name and start telling jokes. You never use these headshots again. You get even worse ones from Glamourshots ™️ for your first year comedy posters.

But you do get to dig through the photos in 2022 as a proof that you once were a bengals fan in case your credibility was questioned. You also have proof of dat ass.