My astrology guide
The moon, the sun and some planets are moving into a new alignment. This means your life will most likely remain the same…except you will have something new to overthink. While technically The Age of Aquarius lasts 2,160 years, you can bring it up for the next 3,000 as a reason why you aren’t acting like yourself lately. Get ready to retire that whole “Mercery in retrograde” line and replace it with “Age of Aquarius!”
Capricorn- You can blame the Age of Aquarius on how defensive you seem to always get. Reading this made you defensive, didn’t it?
Aquarius- It’s your time to shine! This is the perfect excuse to keep making everything about you.
Pisces- Get your weighted blanket, grab that cookie dough, and do not move until you start getting messages that people are worried about you. Use the Age of Aquarius as the perfect excuse to be a hardcore hermit.
Aries- Are you being overly honest to the point where you are offending your friends and family? Oops, sorry. It’s the moon and stuff.
Taurus- Ding, dent in the car. Boop, knee on the coffee table. Whoops, poked yourself in the eye while talking wildly with your hands. It could be that you are clumsy, or it could be… Aquarius Season.
Gemini- You’ve had people call you flakey your entire life. Double down! Use this new alignment as the reason why you’re 4 hours late instead of your typical “stumble in 10 minutes late with an iced coffee” late.
Cancer- Well, well, well… if it isn’t the consequences of your own actions. Oh no wait, it must be someone else’s fault. Even better, it’s The Age of Aquarius. (Remember: it’s never you!)
Leo- You keep adding things to your online shopping carts in the hopes of feeling something. Let this season give you permission to hit “purchase.” I overdrafted my account again? Must be the Age of Aquarius.
Virgo- We know you can’t control your facial expressions. If you find yourself overly judgmental, try to make your face and your silence match. Can’t pull that off? Blame it on the planets.
Libra- Blame the Age of Aquarius as an excuse to color coordinate and alphabetize everything.
Scorpio- A coat doesn’t really go with your outfit. Your dress would look better with open toed shoes— who cares if it is snowing? New season, new reason to dress how you want (you warm blooded pyscho).
Sagittarius- Since you love to laugh and make a jokes, the Age of Aquarius is the perfect excuse for when you made that super dark joke during your best friend’s vulnerable moment.