Pure Michigan -The europe of america?
Kid rock sang about Summertime in Michigan like it was going to be a dumpster fire. He was so misleading.
I had been to Grand Rapids before, but this time I was working a weekend at Dr. Grins Comedy Club. The city has just reopened from C19 so again, weird zombie times we were living in. However, I took a side trip to Holland to enjoy the outdoors and had the best. day. ever. Once again, here is my attempt at a totally honest travel blog.
Cost: gas + food (and I spent a lot on food since my hotel was free) + $15 for roadside kayak rental
Points of interest: Holland Brewing, Mt. Pisgah, General Store, Lake Mancatawa (Boat House)
Holland is a really cute town obsessed with leaning into the whole Dutch name thing. They have an island that has a windmill on it and a whole park of windmills that the Instagram ladies go gaga for. It wasn’t tulip season, so I skipped that and drove around to try to locate the best iced coffee, which is a totally separate Instagram clique. I found it. Look how adorable I am.
After I was buzzed off the sweet, sweet nectar of the Gods I googled “beach” and was directed to Lake Macatawa. I drove around until I found a random lot and approached a crazy shirtless man who was peeling an orange and asked him what the skinny was about the beaches. He told me most were closed due to c19 but there were a few you could still access at different points. Kids, don’t talk to strangers, but if you need information, ask a local. They will tell dish you the heaviest scoops of truth. I would use this method several times this day. Orange man pointed to a patch of sand that kind of looked like a beach so I sat there and read my book.
It’s important to me that you know I read books
After my book started to turn sad, I got up and went to the nearby general store which is also an ice cream shoppe spelled the old fashioned and fancy way. They had something like 50 flavors and with the purchase of an ice cream come came my entitlement to again ask a local a bunch of questions about the town.
They told me if I wanted to walk the stairs to Mt. Pisguh that I could park on a side street as long as I had all 4 of my wheels in the grass. This saved me the $10 in parking at the base of the mountain and also blew up my ego as I now thought of myself as some kind of travel genius.
Rub elbows with the locals = good intel
It’s important to me that you know I enjoy nature. Here’s the view after you climb 300ish stairs to the top of the “mountain”
The highlight of my trip is when I saw a roadside sign for KAYAK RENTAL and just pulled over, paid $15 to rent one, and spent some time on the lake listening to The Chainsmokers. You could paddle next to lakeside houses and the owners came out to lay on their decks or paddle board themselves. Why do lake people always feel like they have life figured out? They aren’t as snotty as beach-front people, but they still make me feel less than adequate. I get so mad at lake kids who know how to operate boats and always have suntans. Like, enjoy it! This isn’t normal! Childhood is supposed to suck! You’re so lucky. Damn.
It’s important to me that you knew I wore my life jacket and asked specifically for a hand signal that means “help”
Grand Rapids is great, but I highly recommend you take the 30 minute drive and spend some time in Holland if it’s summer. Also, if you’re in Michigan, hit up Dr. Grins Comedy Club. We took our social distancing seriously and had a great time bringing you some laughs. Weird times we are living in, weird times. Keep your head up.